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If I have some spare time and want to relax, I wsnked spend it watching Netflix or doing a face mask. I like it on occasion, but I can happily do. But when some science-y types recommended masturbation breaks at work — as in wanking in the office during work hours — as a way to improve focus and be a happier, better employee, I was intrigued.

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Maybe I was missing out on all the benefits masturbation could bring. Maybe a quick self-love sesh in the toilets could make me more creative, more efficient, and less full of despair and lethargy. So I decided to do an experiment: one week of masturbating at work, to see if it would make me a significantly improved person.

And in the interests of equality and science, I also recruited Andyone of our writers, our new agony uncle, and a person with a penis, to test out the technique. My plan is to choke my chicken once a day, on business premises, for a full working week, then write about my findings.

Though first I should come clean. As a freelance writer, I divide my time between various poncy London offices and my Brighton living room. Today I start work at a stately Art Deco newspaper office in Kensington, pondering where might be best to slope off and bash one.

Pulling your plonker in an open-plan setting Swinger new Batley several technical challenges, not least disposal of the evidence.

Therefore I conclude the best way to successfully discharge my mission is in a bathroom. I snick m door shut and gingerly crack on.

The second problem is even more intractable. I tend to favour Dartford online yard sale down during the act of self-love on my right-hand side, biting a pillow since you ask. Thus I pass a cramped, frustrating eternity rebooting my ln spankbank, much as one might wrangle an ancient Nokia back to life for a final nostalgic game of Snake.

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JavaScript is required Mum wanked me in United Kingdom this website. Pulling your plonker Manchester massage woodside an open-plan setting presents several technical challenges, not least disposal of the evidence.

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Login or Sign Up now to post a comment! Unlike my extremely fortunate colleague Andy, I work in just the one office, not from home. Ads By Traffic Junky.

COM All rights reserved. Although Nikki knew something wasn't right about her Woking house exchange behaviour, she never told anyone at the wnaked because she couldn't "process what was really happening.

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